A lesson in biology

I am a thinking matter,
It boils down to that.
Carbon chains and nitrogen
And saprophytes, the zombies
Sculpting life and lifelessness,
Little gods, little Adams and Eves
Biting down the inanimate,
Producing, through prey-eat-prey,
A final thing with eyes and feelings.

And I am the seas, I am a reservoir
Bladed into blood. And how funny
It is to be sad.

How callous to wish for nothingness
In the miracle state of everything,
In the symbiosis of prokaryote
Engulfing prokaryote,
In the blooming, beating, beginning
That ended, this day, in my white-
Knuckled fingers scraped
Between my teeth.

How lonely it is to live
With this presence and absence
Of life.

How lucky I am to be sad.

So I have written it across
The brown of my hand,
Each letter a prick of vein:
Nitrosomonas europaea,
My ammonia. My ammonia
for the next generation
Of plants.